As you survey your new living space in pristine condition for the first (and very possibly last) time, bare wall to bare wall the rooms should be brimming full of one thing: Potential. Yes, the potential for greatness surrounds you. However, the everyday hustle and bustle of your normal life will resume in due time. Why not let your new pad marinate for a proverbial minute or two before throwing it on the barbie? You may be tired of the entire moving process by this point, but don’t let your weary arms defeat your kindred spirit. Rushing into getting your new place up and running will cut short a rare loophole in male living, referred to from here on as simply, the “Grace Period.” From as little as a day to as long as a month, the Grace Period is exactly what you make of it. A properly executed Grace Period will require a carefully prioritized “to-do” list, and yes, a “to-do” list is necessary, if only for appearances’ sake. Remember, the Grace Period is an excuse to shirk unwelcome tasks and duties, but only serves as an effective alibi when you are perceived as busy, not lazy.

1. First Things First: You are now privy to an enclosed arena of which you are the authority figure. Our suggestion: a fun & games day. Beer Olympics, New-Home Run Derby, whatever your heart’s wildest desire. With no valuables in sight, or at least unpacked, the propensity for property damage commonly associated with such activities is suddenly mitigated. Don’t throw caution completely to the wind, as depending on the size of your security deposit, it may still be necessary to take some precautions. Indoor paintball could make for an epic hour or so, but the long term repercussions will leave much larger marks in your bank account.
2. Second Tier: Once you’ve had your inaugural romp, it’s time to lay groundwork for the survival and entertainment basics. Hit the grocery store, unload a few key boxes (including the Emergency Survival Box if you’ve been paying attention), call the Direct TV guy, but don’t by any means set up your internet yet. Think about it, television provides diversion you don’t have to answer to; meanwhile, in today’s online era, computer access is synonymous with responsibility. (more…)

You’re not the Baltimore Colts, no need to fade quietly in the night. Well, unless legions of scorned women are conspiring to chase you to the city limits, then there might be some use for a little discretion. However, in most cases, moving should be a high energy experience, a bold proclamation that “I came; I saw; I conquered.” Looking back one final time over your shoulder at the empty space still housing memories, clenched fist held high in a quintessential victory pose, should feel like the final scene in an epic movie, cuing a power ballad as the credits roll. Which finally brings us to the point, every end to a great story needs an equally worthy soundtrack.So what jams should you crank as you pack, lift and hurl boxes around? In full disclosure, we aren’t accomplished cinematographers, but our best guess is that the sounds should somehow correlate to what’s happening on screen. In turn, you can answer your question with another question, simply by asking yourself “why am I moving?” Then use the chart below for appropriate song suggestions across all genres.Breakup

• “Here I Go Again On My Own” Whitesnake (a great opener, closer or both)
• “All My Friends Say” Luke Bryan
• “Fck It” Eamon (obscene, impassioned and hilarious the triumvirate)
• “Love You” Jack Ingram
• “Designated Drinker” Alan Jackson (if you play along, let a friend drive the moving truck)
• “Gone” Fuel
• “Miss Me Baby” Chris Cagle
• “Ho” Ludacris (short, sweet and to the point)
• “All My Friends Say” Luke Bryan
• “Don’t Think I Don’t Think About It” Darius Rucker (assuming you did the deed)
• “Beer” Reel Big Fish
• “Hey Jealousy” Gin Blossoms (if there’s still chance for reconciliation)

Quit Your Job/Got Fired (more…)

When it comes to finding a place to live, half the battle is figuring out who to live with. After all, you single men out there will want to find yourself an adequate wingman who likes to not only chase a few women from time to time, but do other man-themed things once the girl-hunting season comes to a close. Worst case scenario, you wind up with your TiVo filled with America’s Next Top Model re-runs and an oven full of home baked cookies. Actually, on second thought, the whole cooking thing might not be half bad. Still, shared interests are essential in roommate compatibility, but how can you find a person to live with if you’re moving to an area in which you literally know nobody? (more…)

Sit back and ask yourself, “If I was marooned on a desert island with no television or internet and I could pack one box to take with me, what would I bring?” This is a question you will need to answer a few days before you actually move out. Both computers and TV’s are excluded from the question because it very well could be a while before your connections are set up in your new place. During that process you should have plenty of time to figure out where it was exactly you packed them. Unfortunately, a lot of the boxes you’re filling to the brim with the junk you just can’t bring yourself to throw away might as well be time capsules addressed to Future You. If you’re moving during the playoffs, it could be weeks before you even make it to your second box. (more…)

If you’re like most guys and hit the weight room less often that you watch World’s Strongest Man reruns, tossing kegs and carrying boulders isn’t quite as easy as it looks on TV. Fortunately, as long as your bravado and pride doesn’t get in the way, there are plenty of tips and devices than will enable you to quickly and efficiently move heavy boxes and furniture to and from the moving truck.Tip 1: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If anything, moving day can be a bonding experience, and a case of beer or round at the bar is usually all it will run if you are lucky enough to have a good friend or two who will lend a hand. If possible, avoid calling the friend who just moved back in with his parents or decided living with his girlfriend was a bright idea. When it comes time for that guy to move out, your name is going to be at the top of his list. Friends locked into a long term lease or with kids in the city’s top public school zone should be in high demand. (more…)

Heading down the highway at speeds of 60 miles per hour, with the suspension of a horse and buggy skidding across cobblestone, the back of your moving truck isn’t going to look quite like the mental picture you took just before closing the hatch. If you are not careful, your boxes can make like Mexican jumping beans and you’ll have to phone in the National Guard to come in for some clean up duty before moving in to your new place. These helpful tips when loading your moving truck should teach your boxes to sit and stay, without dropping a deuce all over the floor of your moving truck.Tip 1: Load the heaviest items in first. As a rule of thumb, before you load a big box chalk full of random mementos you are going to want to load whatever major appliance or piece of furniture was originally delivered in that box. If one or two items are significantly heavier than the rest of your stuff, make sure to set them on separate sides of the truck. Balance is key if you don’t want your truck or trailer to be doing the Ickey Shuffle side to side down the interstate. (more…)

Sure you set the school record at Tetris back in 1996 but while you were hammering away at your Gameboy in the back of math class you might have missed some of the more valuable, greater geometry themes that day. For example, a truck shaped rectangle of a certain area can only fit a certain number of squares of a smaller area before there is simply no more area left to fill. The overwhelming confidence you have at fitting things in tight spaces, as a result of your Gameboy glory days, may actually backfire when it comes time to select your moving truck. Moving trucks come in all shapes and sizes, with larger trucks obviously coming at a much higher renting price. The “I’m sure I can squeeze it in” defense holds up about as well as Shaggy’s “It wasn’t me,” so don’t choose the rental counter as your time to suddenly get cheap. (more…)

Once you’ve finally got everything out of your place and onto the truck you might think the work is done for a little while, time to just sit back and enjoy a relaxing drive to your destination. Then, all of a sudden, two words blind side you like the business end of a billy club: “Security Deposit.” If you ever want to see that king’s ransom you paid to actually move into your apartment, just so they could trust you weren’t running a dog fighting ring in your living room or playing medicine ball dodge ball, you’re going to have to make sure the place is spick and span. Here are some tips you might not think about, because it’s not like your landlord is going to let it slide when he decides to stick it to you one last time.Tip 1: You’ve probably spent a lot of time around the refrigerator over the year. After all, a stringent commitment to the pizza and beer diet doesn’t usually go down smooth when it’s stale and warm. What you may not know is that most refrigerators in rental units actually roll out fairly easily and you’d be surprised to see the assortment of god-knows-what that usually collects back there. You might have to bust out the broom and dustpan, or even a heavy duty trash bag, but your inspector will look back there, so you should too. (more…)

Before you bust out the weight belts and hit the heavy lifting, there is plenty of leg work even the women-folk can help with to get each room ready for moving day. Renting the truck can be expensive, no matter which company you choose, so you will want to make sure you get started as soon as you know you’re on the move. Despite what might have worked for your Intro to Literature exam on Seis de Mayo, waiting until the night before or morning of your big move to start preparing will cost you dearly. For those of you whose first time it is packing up the house or apartment, here are some helpful tips to make sure your place is ready:Tip 1: You can never have too many boxes. Try your local grocery store. They probably have more boxes than they know what to do with. It’s not like they are mailing in those bananas from Guatemala in little white envelopes. The last thing you want to do is come up few boxes short. Loose items in the back of a moving truck are the recipe for personal effects jambalaya, a bitter dish that takes a long time to digest and sort out. (more…)